Pride, the source of shame

...pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote for shame.

General Iroh, from Avatar: The Last Airbender

Sin is really dangerous for Christians. Well, of course, it's dangerous for everyone, but I meant that in a specific context.

Christians have a lot to lose from sin. If we're found out, we lose our position in church, we're seen in the secular society as just another hypocritical believer, or as proof of the idea that Christianity just doesn't work.

So, what do we do? We hide it.

Come on, you know it's true. Do you go around every day telling people, "I lied to my mother today," "I blasphemed God today," "I cheated on my wife last night"? But one thing I also noticed is that people also try very hard to hide from God, too.

Earlier this year, I realized something. For a long time, I would pray to Yahweh and say to Him, "Why did You die for me? I don't deserve it!" I went so far as to even instruct Him to take salvation from me. Doesn't that just sound crazy?

It took me some time, but eventually I saw (I believe God showed me) something that got me thinking, "Wow, I couldn't see this before?!" Yes, my sins are horrible; yes, they hurt Him, yes, they anger Him. Yes, all my best attempts at righteousness are pathetic (Isaiah 64:6).

But, guess what: as huge as my sins are, God's much bigger. I realized that within me was a kind of pride. It's not the same pride as the Pharisee who bragged of his "righteousness" compared to the tax-collector's (Luke 18:9-14). Instead, it's the pride of Judas Iscariot.

Judas could have been forgiven for His actions. All he had to do was accept the grace that He, through His sin, was instrumental in bringing to the world. But, instead, he allowed His guilt to drive a wedge between him and God to the point that he killed himself.

I was separating myself from God, too. Along with telling Him to abandon me (really, that is completely twisited!), there were times that I could not go to Him in prayer or singing all because of my shame.

Our pride refuses to accept our sin. Our pride refuses to accept that God is willing to overlook our guilt. And so, we feel shame. We think that grace only applies to pre-conversion sins.

I realized that... my imperfection is a given! God knows! But that's not an easy reality to accept. We want to be perfect so that we feel "worthy" of His grace.

Humility allows us to say to God that we know we're filthy, we know we're weak. And it allows us to accept that it's His strength that strengthens and His blood that purifies (1 Cor 12:9; Rev 1:5).

We should never hide from God. He is life and without Him, we're only 'breathing to death', and walk Judas' path. Shame in this sense has no place in the life of a Christian. Shame born out of pride does nothing but separate us from God. Is there any wonder that Jesus spent so much time showing us that we need to be humble servants?

Only humility can accept the grace of God, even in light of our own sins. He can transform the heart, mind and soul. But He can't do that if we keep building barriers against Him.

We need to humbly bow, and give all of ourselves to Him. We need to surrender.